The Stomach Dance

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3 NIV

As Saturday approaches my stomach is doing a little dance. Over it turns and then tightens up; does a little Fox Trot and soon an all out clog routine.

This has happened before. Several years ago, God called me into Children's Ministries. I graciously accepted and soon realized that I would be planning Vacation Bible School (VBS). This is a huge under taking, especially following a talented lady who had been very successful at it.

I read everything, I asked her a million questions, and thought I was ready. The big day arrived and the stomach dance began. Not only did my stomach dance, but my heart and breathing wanted to join in too. All the what ifs began...What if no kids come? What if my leaders and guides don't show up? What if I fail?

I am happy to report everything went well! I have directed many VBS's since, so many I'm not sure I could even count. Funny, how after I went to another church I was the one who was called upon several times as the new VBS director took over.

The beginning of the year an idea sprang into my mind. Let's have a barbecue cook off. I prayed to make sure this idea came from God, and then shared it with the other parents as an idea for a camp fund raiser. They were excited too.

So the planning began. I read what I could online. We figured out rules for our contestants. We decided for fun to add game booths and make it an all out block party. Advertisements have gone out, tickets were printed, and the excitement has been building.

This Saturday is the big day. I am, need I say, just a little worried. The what ifs are once again rolling through my head and my stomach has begun to dance again. I know we are told not to worry God's got this. Sometimes though it's just so hard when a lot is riding on my shoulders.

Already two contestants have backed out, so now I wonder will we have enough food? Not everyone has volunteered to bring side dishes. People are slow to commit to a booth. Unexpected illnesses have popped up.

So continually I pray. I pray that God has this day, and it will be a great one. I pray for enough food and enough volunteers to help out. I pray for enough people to come and have a great time with us.

I will trust in His promise that when I commit this to Him, our plans will succeed.

Spiritual Tank Run Dry

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalm 42:1 NIV

Working outside in the heat, cleaning house, waking up, dancing & exercising...all of these things bring on thirst. A thirst that needs to be quenched. When I don't take care of it the dryness in my mouth gets worse. When I finally get to the source, I can't get enough. I drink and drink until I get my fill.

Funny thing though the thirst will quickly return as soon as I return to the activities. It'd be nice just to have my thirst be satisfied.  Alas, I must drink again.

Funny, how my soul does the same. I can go on a spiritual retreat and come home filled with knowledge and the unconditional love of God. I fell like I could conquer the world and no one can bring me down. Then I get home and life has a way of starting just where I left it. Dirty laundry awaits, dirty dishes have piled in the sink, family has the same attitude...soon my spiritual tank runs empty.

I begin to thirst and hunger for God. I must drink again.

My day begins with prayer and several devotions. Children arrive, they begin to bicker. My own children won't get out of bed. I unload the dishwasher, dishes didn't get clean. Somehow managed to get breakfast on the table. A bowl of cereal and a drink gets spilled. Children start fighting. Paint spills, cat knocks over four drinks at once, and I lose all my computer work I was working on.

I must drink. Drink in the love of God.

Sundays, a day to be with my church family and hear the word of God. Why is it then it's the hardest day to get anyone up and moving? We are lucky to leave fifteen minutes late. Why is there fighting and chaos before we even leave the house? After preparing for Sunday School and Children's church, I end up with hardly anyone in class. I love to worship, but now I'm discouraged.

I hunger for God's closeness, but now bitterness is creeping in.

The one night I can study God's word with other women, it's encouraging to share and learn together. I go with hope that someone will come. A half hour later, no one's showed. Why aren't you growing this Lord? I miss out when no one comes.

Soon my spiritual tanks is empty. I'm sinking...

Much like this preschool song taught us:

Read your Bible, pray every day

pray every day, pray every day

Read your Bible, pray every day

and you'll grow, grow, grow

and you'll grow, grow, grow

Read your Bible, pray every day

and you'll grow, grow, grow

Neglect your Bible, forget to pray

forget to pray, forget to pray

neglect your Bible, forget to pray

and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink

and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink

and you'll shrink, shrink, shrink

neglect your Bible, forget to pray

and you"ll shrink, shrink, shrink

When I don't get the time to spend time with God, life seems to get out of control. The thirst grows deeper, my glass begins to empty. I need to remember even when things try to bring me down that my relationship with God is what keeps me strong. Taking the time to pray, read my Bible, and worship Him are all important. I need to keep my soul longing after Him.

A Most Pleasant Day

Her children arise and call her blessed... Proverbs 31:28a

From one emotion to the next...I wonder sometimes did I do a good job? Are my children going to make it? Why do they get that attitude?

There have been many times when I wondered, "where did I go wrong?", "how can they be so uncaring?", "I mean I'm not like that am I?"

When my mechanical son was younger, it was report card day. It had never been a good day for him. He struggled in school, and certain subjects were harder for him. I knew that it was report card day, and when he arrived home. I asked to see it.

"Well, I didn't get it," he replied.

"Not get it, oh come on. I know you did, now let me see it." I held out my hand, but he insisted again that he had not received it. "Let me look in your backpack then."

He held tight to his backpack and would not let me look through it. I knew he was lying and hiding something from me. I tried to get it from him, but this turned into a battle that did not end well.

When I finally got the backpack, I found his report card. He had changed his F into a B, and then told me his teacher said he could. He lied, he deceived, and he knew he had done wrong.

I felt like a complete failure.

My daughter the last few weeks has been grumpier with people. She complains and hasn't been that pleasant to be around. I wondered again, where does she get that from? I admit my attitude isn't always wonderful either. Is she this way because of me?

A couple of weeks ago, my athletic son was working on his truck and asked his brother for help. My mechanical son would go out for a couple of minutes tell him what to do, and then head right back in to do what he wanted. Not a really helpful attitude, again I wonder how can he be not so helpful?

This past Sunday though, I was treated special. My daughter made me breakfast. My sons showered me with gifts and even stopped me from loading the dishwasher. Then my daughter though she brought me to tears. Not only did she get me a gift and a card, but she wrote me a beautiful note.

She told me she loved me and thanked me for helping her figure things out with God. The clincher though was, "I thank you for homeschooling me! I would've been a totally different person if I would've gone to middle school." Then of course she made me laugh by apologizing for her making me gain 40 pounds while I was pregnant.

So I guess even if my children are moody, sometimes deceitful, and not always the best helpers, they are walking in the Lord and trying to live God's purpose for their lives.

Thank you Lord for each my children they are each a special gift from you.

"Not Exactly What I Expected"

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2 NIV

The thought came to my head over a year ago. Maybe it was time to fill my husband's desire for a new truck. The summer had been good, the bills were paid ahead of time, and it seemed as if there would be enough money to make a truck payment.

So I prayed, to see if this was God's desire for us. Then it all kind of fell apart. One mom was now going to stay home with her child, another child was going to stay with grandma, another one was beginning VPK, and two more were headed back to schools I don't pick up from. In less than a month my salary dropped in half. It was not a good time to get a loan.

I continued to pray and asked God to let me know when it was the right time. As usual I asked for teddy bears in strange places, and I like to see them three times. Within a week God showed me those bears, so I knew He approved. The question was how, how were we to go about purchasing a truck?

The answer came through my daughter, "Just buy it."

Such a smart girl, with what exactly was I going to buy it with? Our income now just kept the bills paid. I even had to cut corners every which way I could.

Gradually, our income began to improve so I started putting money away. I figured we'd just save it and when we got to a certain about then we'd go buy one. A nice tax refund and an overage payment made the amount a little better.

Surely, we could find one in the price range we were looking. A truck we would not have to worry about breaking down. Unfortunately, to get one in our price range it would mean a very high mileage vehicle. Even higher than the one's we have now. This did not seem like a wise decision.

So back to the Lord, I went. "So Lord, I mean if you want us to get this high mileage vehicle than so be it. It's just we were hoping to be able to travel and such with this truck. So if you think we could get a loan and buy one with less miles and a little newer than let me know."

I traveled about my day not thinking about what I prayed earlier until I pulled in the bank. Before my eyes the first parking spot boom, a truck just like my husband wanted.

"Lord, that's not a teddy bear but if this is the sign you're sending then let me know."

I continued around the bank to the drive thru, I didn't think about what I just saw. I got sidetracked with kids in the van and making my deposit. I looked up and see another truck.

"OK, Lord so that's two is this the sign? You know I like three and teddy bears, but trucks OK." Not even a minute later God sent truck number three. Just to make sure I got it, He sent another one.

So with God's blessings we applied and received a loan. Not for as big as we thought, but good enough. So this past Sunday (I know, we usually try not to shop on Sunday, but every once in awhile we feel it's OK) we went and found the truck my husband had been wanting.

We tried Saturday, but the truck had been sold just before we got there. Found out the reason the next day, we wouldn't have been able to pay all the fees and taxes.

So our Praises go up to God, knowing He will continue to provide and He has great plans!