Feeling Closed In

Bless the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy. Psalm 103:2-4 ESV

My days are good. I enjoy saving money on gas and tolls. It has been nice to worship with people online who don't come to our church. I'm for keeping people well, but I have had about enough.

First of all this year hasn't started out so great. Back in January a couple things happened to make my stress level to go way up. After a lot of prayer, things calmed back down and I felt normal again. God and me had some serious talks, mostly Him listening to me saying I've had a enough.

Most of us know how March and April have gone, a lot of changes out of our control. First, no public gatherings and it quickly went from there with some changes happening just a few hours apart. Then we get used to the new changes and government officials meet and then decide to change things even more. There is only so much we can take!

I understand trying to keep people from getting sick, but from what I understand more people recover from this Covid 19 virus than die from it. Sure it's sad when people die and I wouldn't want to be the one who accidentally gave an illness to someone, but is all of this even working? Is Covid 19 worse than the flu outbreak or a common cold? I know there are respiratory issues that can get really bad, but even that doesn't happen to each person who gets it.

The thing that has got to me these last couple of weeks is the face-mask. First, they tell us a face-mask is only useful if you're sick or if you are helping someone is sick. So will it do me any good in a grocery store? How do I overcome the closing in feeling I get when I put a mask on? I feel like I can't breath and start panicking. A face-mask just doesn't work for me.

Then on Monday within two minutes I get an emergency message about a new curfew, pretty sure that wasn't an emergency. Then I get a text message telling me the same thing. Then I get a phone call. Do they think I'm an idiot? I mean seriously!

I miss my family. Easter we usually have breakfast and dinner together, but this year we are separate. Sure we could reach out and call each other, but we weren't together.

I miss my day care kids, sure I have some of them and that keeps my days more normal. But not all of them are here and it just isn't quite the same. I've been teaching preschool to those not here with videos and sending them their papers, and their parents have sent me pictures of them which is wonderful.  But I miss them.

I miss my church kids. I didn't get to share the Easter message with the children who would have come to the egg hunt. Sure I made a YouTube video and shared that, but it wasn't the same as having a treasure hunt for Jesus.

I miss our youth. We have tried to reach out to them with Zoom worship, but not all of them are showing up. I feel so bad for our seniors in our youth group. This is not the way to end your senior year. They should be celebrating their final nine weeks, not learning how to do everything online and social distancing. I miss seeing their goofiness and the unique things each one brings to our church.

I miss my church family. We have reached out through e-mails, live worship, mail, and phone calls. Still it's not the same as seeing their happy faces, wondering what hat our hat lady will wear today, or hugging them.

Sure life will one day go back to normal, but it won't be the same. Some will be even more worried about germs and viruses. Some will decide not to leave their homes. Some will be overly excited to be freed from this mess!

I am grateful that I trust in God who heals our diseases and is with us even when we feel closed in. I will continue to obey the "daily new rule" even if I don't like it, because we are to obey the governing authorities.  My prayer and hope is that truly it is for our own good and not some way for people to make a name for themselves. I pray that before decisions are made that God is sought to see if this is really His plan. I will trust in God's promise that He will work things together for good because somehow, some way this has got to be for our good.

Mostly I will rejoice when the doors are open once again and I can be others!

Just Want to Get a Hug

And let us considered how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near. Hebrews 10;24-25 ESV

I am quite sure I am not liking this social isolation. I guess it's for our own good and the good of others, but I dare say I am quite tired of it.

A few weeks ago when we could still meet at church, it hurt so much not to hug those I usually hug. It was strange to tap elbows, we are made to hug. Some of us aren't huggers, but some of us are. It was so hard not to hug and show that we're in this together.

When I was sitting in a waiting room, this woman in a wheelchair dropped her pen. All I wanted to do was get up, pick up the pen, and hand it back to her. Instead, I sat there wondering if I should help. I thought she might freak out if I got up and got in her six foot bubble to pick up the pen. Then I thought what if she has the virus then if I pick up the pen then I would get the virus.

The other day when picking up groceries, a man was asking me about how many eggs he could get. He was getting in my six foot bubble and I tried not to let it bother me, but there I was thinking, "he shouldn't be this close to me."

Is this what the world is coming too? Do we start looking at everyone as if they have the virus? Are we supposed act like at each person can infect me?

We were created to be with each other. God created Eve for Adam because God saw it wasn't good for man to be alone.

As Easter approaches this isolation from others is growing worse. Not only is Easter next week, but our son has a birthday. How are we supposed to celebrate, virtually? It's just not the same.

This also has me thinking what would Jesus do. Would he look at each person as a virus? Would he venture out with a face mask? Would he elbow bumped people or keep a six foot bubble around himself?

First thing he'd do is pray and ask God what He should do because Jesus would follow God's will. Then I think if he was out he would see people as God sees them-children of God, fearfully and wonderfully made. He wouldn't be afraid of a virus. He would pick up the lady's pen and pray for her. He would tell the man how many eggs and maybe ask him how many does he need. He'd comfort us and love each one of us as He loves himself.

Sure we need to honor our governing authorities, but we need to see each other as wonderful children of God. Not as a disease. Not as someone I could get the disease from. Don't stop loving your neighbor, if you feel God calling you to help then help. Don't sit in your home all alone, but reach out to others through phone calls, Facetime, or text.

Stop listening to the hype instead listen to your heart and where God leads you. Reach out in safe ways and pray for God's guidance. Find something to be joyful about. Don't give up, this to shall pass and this will all be a memory. But most of all trust in God, he has good plans.