Sorrow

Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more, the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end. Isaiah 60:20 NIV

Why do I do it? Why do I watch movies where I know I am going to cry?

Last Saturday, we watched "I Am Not Ashamed." This movie was about the life of Rachel the teenager who was not ashamed to say she believed in Jesus and ended up losing her life. Of course all during the movie we knew how it was going to end, but that didn't stop us from watching it. Maybe I watched because I knew I needed a good cry.

There have been several times in my life when I've felt sorrow. Most of those times were because someone died. I don't remember if I really understood death when my paternal grandma died when I was seven. I can remember snip-its of the funeral and such (I had the chicken pox), but I don't really remember feeling sorrow. I feel it now when something comes up about her and I wish I had more time to really get to know her.

Soon after my husband and I were married we found out we were expecting. We were excited and worried since the insurance didn't cover my pregnancy and we wanted a house before we had a baby. Still we were very joyful. That fateful day came though when at nine weeks of pregnancy I lost the baby. Sorrow filled our hearts wondering if we would ever have another chance to be parents. Luckily for us, we did and now have three grown children.

This past summer I experienced sorrow when my maternal grandma died. I thought it would be easier since we knew she was heaven bound, but it wasn't. She lived a nice long life, but saying good-bye was hard. There have been times through out the year when sorrow hits me once again and I mourn her loss all over. Sometimes it seems over silly things. I had to adjust my addresses for my Christmas card list and just deleting her name brought me to tears.

The good news is through all this sorrow there comes joy. There's a song that says, "The sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning." There are times when I'm sad and there are times when I watch movies to be sad, but after all the sadness always comes the joy. My joy is found in the arms of Jesus. He brings comfort and ability to not be in sorrow.

He can bring the joy to each of us, we just need to let him help us.

Presence

Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with joy of your presence. Psalm 21:6 NIV

Most of us have heard the poem, "Footsteps in the Sand." This poem talks about someone seeing his walk with God as they walked along the beach. He noticed two sets of footprints, but during the saddest and hardest times in his life he only noticed one set. He wondered why, and the Lord said, "It was then that I carried you."

There have been times in my life when it felt like God was far away from me. I wondered if I had done something to drive him away. I'd pray and I'd call out, but I didn't get an answer. "What was going on?" I wonder. I know God's presence is with me, but why doesn't He respond.

There have been other times when I've heard clearly what God was doing. His presence was always known to me. I knew what I should be doing.

Sometimes it's hard to understand God's presence. After all, God is omnipresent. This means He is present everywhere at the same time. How is that even possible?

The easiest way for me to explain it is, God is like the air. There is air everywhere. We can't see the air, but we know it's there because we breath it in and breath it out. We have no doubt that air exist. We don't question how we have air here in America and they have air in Australia. We just trust that there is air.

God presence works the same. He is everywhere, he knows all things, and He is in all things. So even when we don't feel Him close, He's there. Even when you say, "there is no God." His presence is there. He is always wooing us to Him and hoping one day we will chose Him. He leaves that decision up to us. His presence His real, just trust in Him like you trust that there's air.

Forgiveness

All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name. Acts 10:43 NIV

How quick are you to ask for forgiveness when you've made a mistake? This is one of the hardest things for me to do. I guess it's because of my pride. I don't want to admit when I've been wrong. I guess I enjoy being right. My husband will say you aren't happy unless you get the last word in. Sometimes that's true, mainly it's because I don't feel he's truly listening to me and I'm not sure if my point was made.

The thing is being forgiven is refreshing. Instead of being weighed down we are freed from the burden of the guilt we feel.

Sometimes though it is easier to seek forgiveness from a stranger than those close to you. I don't know how many times I've accidentally bumped into someone, and how quick I am to say "I'm sorry." But if I done something wrong to my husband or kids it takes me a lot longer to apologize. Shouldn't they be the one's I want to tell I'm sorry too?

I mean I teach forgiveness to my day care kids. One of them hits or kicks and I make them apologize right away even when he/she tells me "no" (there's that pride). Then I make the one he/she hurt say "You're forgiven." I want them each to be able to move on and be friends again. If only I could seek forgiveness from others as easily.

The One though that I have no problem seeking forgiveness from is always ready to hear me say "please forgive me, I didn't mean to do that." He actually wipes it away and remembers it no more. Isn't that great! The one I need to please the most, is the one who doesn't remember my transgressions. If only those around me wouldn't remember the mistakes I made, maybe then it would be easier to apologize.

Mercy

Give ear, O God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears your Name. We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, listen! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, hear and act! For your sake, O my God, do not delay because your city and your people bear your Name. Daniel 9:18-19 NIV

Are there times when you feel this world is just falling apart? Or that our nation is ripping at the seams? Our towns aren't a safe place to live? Our families are crumbling?

The desolation at times is very close to home. Everything seems to be going well then we're hit with an illness, a death in the family, drugs, alcoholism, loss of a job, loss of a home...the list goes on. We may not know where to turn when everything seems to be falling apart.

Where do we turn when there seems no where to turn? Do we keep trudging through the mess? Do we continue to feel empty and alone?

There is a solution. It may not happen instantly. Maybe we think we are to far gone to even be helped. We've messed up to bad, there is no way God would even consider helping me.

We don't have to be righteous to come to God. There isn't anything to bad for God to fix. God is merciful and forgiving. He's just waiting for us to seek Him. He can restore the world, our nation, our towns, our families and us. We just have to be willing to call on His name and receive His mercy.

Confession

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 NIV

Some of you read this word and think of having to go to a church and step in a little room with a chair and say something like, "Bless me father, for I have sinned." After that you confess all the things you have done.

My experience is a lot different.

I stood there near the salad bar waiting while my parents paid the bill. I'm not sure exactly what drove me to do it, except that I enjoy salty, crunchy food. When no one was looking I grabbed a crouton and ate it. Right after that we left. I had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried to sleep, but the stealing of that crouton kept me tossing and turning all night. I tried to reason it out, I mean we did pay to eat there. It was only one little crouton, who cared? Finally, when I couldn't take the guilt a moment longer I prayed to God, "I'm sorry I took the crouton. I won't ever do it again." My life of stealing croutons ended there.

One of the hardest things I had to confess was after I pleaded for help from God and confessed what I had done wrong. God wanted me to confess to my husband. Confessing to God was one thing, but actually admitting to someone else I'm not perfect was even harder. Luckily, my husband heard my confession and together with God we worked out a solution.

When guilt eats at you, one of the best solutions is to confess it all to God. He will forgive you and help you move on. Another great thing is, He will remember your sins no more! He wipes away your transgressions and makes it as white as snow. Go ahead, give it a try. Trust in the One who can make it all better.

Beloved

Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders. Deuteronomy 33:12 NIV

Some mornings that first look in the morning can be pretty scary. Other mornings I think, "hey, not to bad must have been a restful night." As I glance in the mirror throughout my day I wonder, "what in the world happened? Did I really welcome people into my home with my hair looking like this?"
Truthfully, I don't spend a whole lot of time on my hair. I like the wash, brush, and go look.

There have been times when I've felt alone or abandoned. Everyone seems to be busy with their own agendas and it seems that their schedule doesn't include me. Or maybe they just don't want to be around me because of my walk with Christ. I will text people messages during the day and they don't respond (even my own children). At these times, I do not feel cherished or loved even by those closest to me.

Luckily for me, I am always dearly loved. There is someone who always keeps His eye on me. He always listens to me. He gives me words of comfort and loves me unconditionally. So it doesn't matter how I look that day or who pays attention to me-I am His beloved and I can rest in His loving embrace. Each one of you is beloved too. The very same God who created everything created YOU! You can rest in His loving embrace.

Focus

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter  of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. Hebrews 12:2

Without my glasses, everything is out of focus. When I wake up I struggle to read the clock, not that I really want to know if it's two o'clock in the morning. If for any reason through out my day I have to remove my glasses nothing is clear. I squint and try to see, but unless it's a couple inches in front of my eyes it's no use.

Life at times can get out of focus. My day gets busy and I forget about what I need to do or taking the time to set my eyes on Jesus. My day gets a late start. Somehow I end up an hour behind schedule. My computer locks up. The kids misbehave and drive me crazy. I can't seem to get my mind focused on what is important. I go around in my fuzzy world wondering when will things get back into focus.

Even the last few days, my mind has been fuzzy and out-of-focus. My goal was to keep up with the Lenten word of the day and write about it, but I lost my focus and found myself busy with other things. Hoping today my mind will get less fuzzy and I can regain my focus.

After all, all that really matters is that I keep my focus on Jesus and everything else will fall into place.

Restored

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:12 NIV

Sometimes I enjoy watching the TV shows where houses are restored. Before  HGTV, there was PBS shows like "This Old House." My husband and I would enjoy watching this show, instead of taking an hour to restore a complete house it would take weeks or even months. It was fun to watch how they would painstakingly make an old house look restored. It would be fresh and look like it was before age and general wear and tear wore it down.

I enjoy watching the newer versions of transforming hopeless homes into a livable dream-come-true homes. Of course each project isn't without it's problems. Sometimes there is lead paint or asbestos, sometimes termites, sometimes an unsafe foundation...but these contractors make the homes safe once again.

Restoration can happen with old furniture too. I can remember my dad working on a rocking chair that once belong to someone in the family. He scraped off layers and layers of paint, reveling the natural wood. He would sand it smooth and start again until it was ready for stain. My grandma kept that rocking chair as long as she could.

We can be restored too. There are times when we've become worn out by disease, age, life circumstances. We can become torn down by words, our mistakes, our doubts. The good news is God can come in and transform us back into the person we weren't meant to be. The restoration may not be easy, but it's all worth it when we have the Joy of the Lord for our strength.

Seeds

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made ti grow. 1 Corinthians 3:6 NIV

It's that time of year again, the time to plant seeds and hope something will spout. When we first started planting a vegetable garden, we would clear the land, up turn the soil, and create our rows. We would carefully plant our seeds, water, and care for them until the weeds over took them.

Now we get some potting soil and pots then we plant our seeds. It doesn't really matter which way we do it, our outcome is the same.

We plant beans, tomatoes, corn, onion, peppers, carrots, lettuce, cantaloupe, and several others. Every year most of the time we get the plants to grow and some of them grow pretty big. But no matter how big the plant is we only produce beans, well once we got a carrot the size of my pinky. The other plants will get their flowers and we hope for success and yet we get nothing. I guess we all have brown thumbs.

I hope I have more success on planting God's seed, not that I always see the crop. I believe God has called me to help plant His seed in the hearts of children. I try to teach them everyday something about Him and how much He loves each one of them. I try my best to show God's love to them, I'm pretty sure I've forgiven them enough times, corrected them enough times, and loved them enough times to show I care for them.

Occasionally, I get to see the fruit grown from the seed when one of them shares how she told her friend about God, when I ask I question and they can answer it, or when I spill something and one of them says, "It's OK, God still loves you."

We are called to help plant God's seed. His seeds of love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. Hopefully, these seeds will help produce a crop of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Emptiness

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver and gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 1 Peter 1:18-19 NIV

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you were willing to do almost anything to possess it? Did you feel your life would be complete if you could only own it? What happened after you finally received the item? More than likely you craved to have something else.

No matter how much stuff we own, there is always a desire to get more. We feel like our lives are empty until we get the latest item.

Quite a few years ago, I used to enjoy shopping on Black Friday. It seemed like the deals were just to good to pass up. Now I didn't go as far as camping out in front of stores to be first in line. In fact, I didn't get up before dawn either to catch all the early bird specials. I just went shopping.

I remember the year my grandma, mom, aunt, and me all went shopping. My aunt had a list of places she wanted to go, so she could get her boys gifts. I'm pretty sure I had a list too. We had a wonderful time shopping, we didn't get mobbed, and we had a fabulous lunch out.

A few years later we began a new tradition of camping on Thanksgiving weekend and now we just stay at the campground enjoying nature. It's a wonderful time as well. We don't feel like we've missed out on anything, we don't feel empty.

Sometimes though we feel so empty, that we feel the need to get filled up. Some of us fill up with spending time with friends, some of us fill up with the need to get rich, and some of us fill the emptiness with drugs or alcohol. Does any of this make you feel completely full?

One thing I have learned is the only way I can truly be filled is by my Lord and Savior. He is the one who can satisfy my thirst and hunger. He is the one who can help me feel calm. He is the one who let's me know I'm loved.

So the next time you feel like the emptiness consumes you, call on the One who will completely satisfy.

Healing

Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment. Matthew 9:22 NIV

"My lungs hurt," I thought as I tried to breathe. I asked God what should I do, and I felt led to go to the doctor. Funny, how after a trip to the doctor we expect an instant healing like the doctor is some kind of miracle worker. My instant healing didn't come, I felt tired and miserable for a couple of weeks and the cough still lingers on.

Of course during this time I prayed for healing and I wanted it instantly, but God had other plans. I am very grateful that my sickness didn't linger on for months or years like some people I know. I feel sometimes like I don't have the right to ask for healing when so many people are so much sicker than I was. I am very grateful to be better even if I have to deal with a persistent cough.

Why do we expect to feel better instantly? Is it because of this instant world we live in. I mean everything can be done in a matter of minutes. I pull out my phone and look up home remedies for the symptoms I'm having at almost the time they start, I can have answers at my fingertips without waiting days and days.

The thing is healing can come differently. God will heal, it's just a matter of when. I once heard a message that I haven't forgotten. He taught us about the different ways of healing.

Sure there are the miraculous healings. I experienced this once, I ended up trapped between the top of my hutch and the bottom of my hutch. When I was rescued my ribs hurt, I was sure I cracked one or at least bruised one. Some friends prayed over me and when I went to the doctor I was healed, nothing was broken or bruised and the pain had disappeared.

There are also medical healings. I have also experienced this. I had a sharp pain in the upper right side of my chest. The pain was so intense that I couldn't even stand up right. My husband took me to the hospital and they discovered it was my gallbladder. I ended up with surgery to remove it, and after recovering I was as good as new.

There are also helaings that happen in heaven. I haven't been healed there yet, but a friend of ours has. He suffered and fought the good fight here on earth, but it soon became heart breakingly obvious that his healing would not take place here, it would take place in the arms of Jesus. It was hard to let him go, but now we know he is no longer in pain and his body is healed.

I think the most important healing though needs to begin in your heart. Your heart is where your faith begins. It is accepting this gift that Jesus gave us to help set us free. The hardest healing is only twelve inches away; the measure from your head to your heart. This healing is instant.

Brokenness

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17 NIV

My brokenness came the day I was served the papers at the door. This was when I realized I couldn't do it on my own. I needed someone to fix the problem I made. God came through in amazing ways.

Of course my journey on the path hasn't always be perfect. It became easy to slip into my old ways, spending money on things that weren't important and not paying my bills first. It took more of me being broken before I could completely change.

There was another time to go into court to prove we were current on our mortgage payments. After surrender to God again and admitting that I had messed up one more time, God came through in big ways.

The mortgage company had issued a complaint that we weren't current. I worked hard before the court date to get everything caught back up, and I was able to do it. My husband and I prayed together that God would shine through.

He did in a big way! It came our turn in front of the judge, our lawyer said that we were current. The judge then asked the mortgage company to prove this. Their lawyer said, "Um, well we weren't able to print any information due to computers being down." The judge dismissed everything.

When we left there we felt God's love and forgiveness. After that I made it my number one goal to pay our mortgage every month no matter what. Paying the mortgage took priority over everything else.

My brokenness has taught me that with God all things are possible. He will forgive me over and over no matter how many times I screw up, He keeps no record of wrongs. Of course this brokenness came with a change in my behavior and the way I did things, because without that there is really not true repentance.

How much brokenness will it take before you let God put you back together?

Home

Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching, My Father, will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him." John 14:23 NIV

It takes awhile to plan a trip, for me anyway, I like to figure out where we are going, where we will stay, and what we will do. The excitement builds as all of the plans begin to come together and the days draw closer to when we finally get to leave.

Funny thing though, once we are away I begin to miss my home, I miss my bed, my couch, my pets, my day care kids... I love being away, but there is nothing like returning home and sleeping in your own bed.

Jesus traveled a lot in three years. He really didn't have a place to call home. His home was wherever His Father sent Him. He made His home with God, so He was content.

A home is so much more than four walls. If we come to Jesus, love Him and obey His teachings then He will make His home with us. If Jesus is with us, then we can be at home wherever we are.

Burden

And when I was with you and needed something, I was not a burden to you in any one, for the brothers who came Macedonia supplied what I needed. I have kept myself from being a burden to you in any way , and will continue to do so. 2 Corinthians 11:9 NIV

After my grandpa passed away, my grandma set plans for the rest of her life. I remember celebrating her birthday and all of her children were there, she told them her plans. She didn't want to be a burden on anyone.

It was apparent the older she got the more she had to rely on others. She moved into an assisted living apartment where two meals a day were provided for her. She continued to drive herself to her card clubs and lived her life. She even made trips across the country.

A couple of years later, it became apparent that she needed more assistance. So with some hesitancy, she moved into my uncle and aunt's home. They took good care of her and even dealt with her little quirks (you know we all have them). I don't believe they ever thought of her as a burden. We were all grateful for the love and care they gave her.

When need to try and live a life where we aren't a burden either. Trust in Him, the provider of all our needs.

Mystery

Surely you have heard about the administration of God's grace that was given to me for you, that is, the mystery made known to me by revelation, as I have already written briefly. Ephesians 3:2-3 NIV

Do you enjoy a good mystery? Maybe you like to read a mystery novel or you enjoy a good mystery TV show.

They aren't my favorite types of book or TV shows, but I have watched them. I really do not enjoy mysteries with dead bodies and blood spread everywhere. But I have watched a few good detective type shows, "Walker, Texas Ranger" and "JAG". Mainly, I ended up watching "Walker, Texas Ranger" on vacation because we only got two stations in and that show was more interesting. I've even watched a few episodes at home. I began watching "JAG" because I thought my sons would be interested in it and we could watch it together. Most of the time I watched with my daughter and snoozing husband.

Mysteries are fun because you want to figure out who's done it. We make guesses and hope we are the one's that are right.

Did you know God is kind of like a mystery? Some people want to investigate God to solve the mystery of knowing if He's real. Some people just want to understand Him more.  Others want to prove He doesn't even exist.

As one investigates you might actually learn more about His ways and how great it the love He has lavished on us.

Retreat

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:6 NIV

My excitement is building as I await the time to head away for the weekend. I am participating in a spiritual retreat called a Walk to Emmaus.

On this walk we get to experience Jesus coming alive in us. As the weekend progresses we are shown His hands and feet and all the love He has shown each of us.

I originally went on my walk in October of 2000, since then my life has been different. After my walk I look at life a lot differently. Most of the time when problems arise I take it to the Lord. He is the one who can best solve my problems anyway.

One of the biggest changes, is me taking the time to actually read my Bible. Before I probably didn't even know where my Bible was. Now it sits beside me by the couch, so I can have easy access to it. In fact, I have read through it several times. Reading all those different stories fill my head and heart with glimpses of how amazing God is.

This weekend I hope I can retreat and draw even closer to God because with Him I know all things are possible.

Wrestle

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. Genesis 32:24 NIV

Some decisions can be difficult to make. The choice can be so tough that you end up tossing and turning all night. It's almost like you are wrestling with God.

There have been times in my life when I was unsure what I should do. It was hard to know if I should proceed ahead or just forget about it.

Sometimes I have asked God for a sign about whether I should do something or not. When it came time for us to get a bigger van, I didn't want to proceed without God's blessing. Through my experience of not following God, the last thing I wanted to do was get a loan or spend that much money without knowing God had my back.

So I prayed for a sign, after all Gideon did it. He wanted to make sure he heard God's plan right, so he prayed for God to send him proof so he knew what to do. I figured I could do the same. I asked if God could send me three teddy bears in strange places if we were supposed to proceed in the purchasing of a van. He sent me four, so I knew that it would be alright for us to purchase a van.

Wrestling with a decision isn't a bad thing, in fact it is in the wrestling that you can figure out God's plan. His good and perfect plan.

Freedom

Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17 NIV

"I could hear it coming another big truck, is it a tow truck to take my van away? Whew, it went on past."

"A knock on the door, could it be the foreclose notice or we going to have to leave our home? Where would we go and with three young children? Will my husband take the kids and abandon me? After all I didn't spend our money wisely. He trusted me to keep the bills paid and keep track of everything and I've failed."

These were the thoughts that used to go through my mind constantly several years ago. I wasn't living the way I should have. I spent money in ways I shouldn't have. I maxed out credit cards. There was nothing left. I was stressed and worried about everything.

The day I worried about most arrived with a knock at the door telling me, "You have been served." I signed his form, he handed me the papers, and he left. What was I going to do now? My husband knew our finances were bad, just not this bad.

I did the only thing I could. I fell on my knees and I surrendered this situation to God. I poured my heart out and asked him to save my home.

I found freedom that day! He sent me a way to fix everything. No, He didn't send me a big check. He sent me the solution and with His guidance I followed His plan.

Of course before the solution could begin, I had to confess and tell my husband. He took it well and together, God, my husband and me began our journey to true freedom.

Prayer

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2 NIV

At first I wasn't sure I wanted to do it. Was I hearing God right? I mean I was already praying for people by name, wasn't that enough?

Apparently not, God kept nudging me. Finally, I did it. I texted one of the people who God have given me to pray for and he responded. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" No, it wasn't bad at all.

So I began a list of five different people, God put on my heart, everyday plus my husband, and this new journey began.  Not everyone on my paper responds, maybe they aren't quite sure what to do and after a few tries I get another name on my heart. Maybe they feel prayer needs are a private thing or maybe they are afraid I will share with others. Maybe they think I am being nosy.

The reason I have started asking is because God put it on my heart to do it. I mean I was praying for them anyway, isn't better to know what their prayer needs are.

I look forward to hearing from the different people and being able to pray for them in a special way. It's even more special when the people I ask, "How can I pray for you this week?" turn around and ask me. It doesn't hurt to have a prayer warrior team on your side.

So if you receive a message from me asking, "How can I pray for you this week?," know that I will be praying for you and that prayer request is between God, you, and me. Prayer is a powerful thing!

Love

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1a NIV

The words that came out of his mouth did not indicate that there was any love for me. In fact, what was said to me broke my heart and made me feel worthless.

I could have let this bring me down. I could have dwelt on the words that were said to me. Instead, I know I have a heavenly Father that loves me. He loves me so much that his love is lavished on me. His love is so thick that it's generously given.

This weekend I will have the chance to serve once again at a Walk to Emmaus. This is a spiritual retreat where one is shown through the hands and feet of others the unconditional love of Christ. It is at this walk where I experienced a glimpse of heaven, and I came home knowing how much God loves me.

Every time I serve I am able to be God's hands and feet, and help others see how much God loves them. I try to do this in my every day life as well. Someone does not need to attend a Walk to Emmaus to know God loves them, but God's love is surely shown there.

I hope my actions and words help others to know. I am not perfect and sometimes something will pop out of my mouth that may bring someone down. So I guess I can understand when someone says something to me that hurts. This helps me to forgive and move on because I know that God's love for me is so thick words hurt me for a short time, but I reflect on God's words and remember all he has done.

Doubt

Matthew 14:31 

Immediately Jesus extended His hand and caught him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Have you ever doubted something?

I mean working with kids definitly leaves lots of room for doubt. "I have a hundred dollar bill in my backpack." The likelihood of an eight-year-old having this is slim, so yeah I doubted.

There was also a video I watch, where this character always said, "I doubt it." Anytime anyone shared something, he doubted.

Are you like that? Do you doubt? For us to be a little apprehensive is not a bad thing, it makes us question the why.

The one thing I don't doubt is God. I know He is who He says He is and He will do what He says He will do.

This Wednesday I am so looking forward to a second worship service and seeing what God is going to do! I have no doubt He has big plans!

Fast

While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off. Acts 13: 2-3 NIV

A month ago I had to fast from midnight until mid-morning, so I could get some blood work drawn. This was not difficult for me since I usually don't eat during that time anyway and I don't drink coffee. By the time I was done and back home, it was my usual breakfast time.

I couldn't imagine being like Jesus when he went into the desert and fasted and prayed for 40 days and nights. He had to be starving!

Someone at a cover dish one time said, "I can't eat because I'm fasting." I also know of a pastor who will fast from Saturday afternoon until after she has given her sermon on Sunday.

Those who are able to do this, I admire.

I fasted a little bit. At one time, I fasted lunch once a week to spend time in prayer. This was something I really felt God calling me to do. My husband wasn't seeing the same plan. During this time, I wrote out questions and search the Bible because I couldn't understand why God would tell us different things. It wasn't until my husband confessed that he wasn't seeking God that we were able to finally answer God's call.

Other times during Lent, I have fasted soda, my favorite store, french fries, chocolate...it wasn't easy but whenever I felt a craving for one of these things I would pray and the desire went away. Other times instead of fasting I added something like finishing the editing of a book, praying more deeply, and this year instead of just posting the picture of the day I decided to write about that picture.

To fast ins't easy, but following God isn't always easy either. Sometimes you just want to do what everyone else is doing. I have learned though that fasting has brought me closer to God and through that closeness I am able to see His way is so much better than my way and that has made a big difference.

Simplicity

Jesus answered, "If you want to be  perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Matthew 19:21 NIV

Funny how life can get over complicated. The microwave was invented to make cooking faster. Cell phones were made to make our lives easier. Cars make it faster to get us where we need to go. Washer and dryers make it a lot easier to do laundry.

I have heard about how when someone visits a country on a mission trip he/she expects all this devastation and how sad these people must be. Instead he/she finds the happiest people. They have learned to be happy in their circumstances.

The other day I asked a young man if he would like to go on this spiritual retreat. He was all excited and said he would think about it until I told him, "Oh yeah, by the way you can't take your cell phone." Immediately, he said, "There's no way I can do that."

What are we willing to give up to make our lives simpler? Can you sell your possessions and give to the poor? There are some things I would have a hard time giving up, but if the Lord asked me too, I could.

Apparently, tonight he wants me to give up TV since our fifteen month old TV bit the dust. So tonight we are living life a little bit simpler.

Faith

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea', and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:21-22

Faith is a wonderful thing. Faith is complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

For some of us faith is pretty simple. I mean we have faith that the person in the other car is going to stop at the red light. We have faith that our mail will arrive where we sent it. We have faith that our alarm clock will go off on time so we're not late for work.

For me faith is much deeper than that. I have faith in God. I believe He will do what He promise He will do. I also believe in what He has already done. I believe He created the world and everything in it, as well as the entire universe. I believe He parted the Red Sea and the Jordan River. I believe He sent His son Jesus to become the ultimate sacrifice, and I believe He rose from the dead and conquered death so we could enter heaven. I know that when I die I will be in heaven walking with God and Jesus.

My life is changed because I have this faith. This morning God even showed me, how much He cares about us. As I was preparing things for the dinner at church tonight. I noticed that our freezer didn't contain a new bag of chicken which I thought my husband had bought yesterday. "Well, He must have put it in the other freezer," I thought. So I checked there, no chicken. So I simply texted my husband to ask if he had bought the chicken. I went about what I was working on and waited for a reply. None came and soon I had this thought that I needed to look in the van. I ignored it for a few more minutes, but soon went to the van and guess what I found. The chicken! Luckily, this chicken is bought frozen, so it was still cold.

Now finding chicken may not seem like faith, but for me it was God prompting me so that we didn't lose out on the $20 it costs to buy this bag of chicken. I have asked God to help us be good stewards with the resources He gives us, and He was simply helping me out.

So please stop doubting in this loving God. He cares for you and for all the little details that make up your life even a bag of chicken.

Wilderness

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 NIV

My family and I decided to explore the wilderness that surrounded our camper. We followed a trail and trekked up the mountains. All was going well until we came to a fork in the path. My husband wanted to go one way and I wanted to go the other. I felt like it was the right way to go.

We disagreed on which way to go for quite awhile. The main reason we were disagreeing was because we left the map back at the camper. We had thought there would only be one path to take and it would be good. I really didn't want to end up lost in the wilderness.

Have you ever been in a situation where you needed to choose which way would be the best way? Were you afraid of being lost in the wilderness? The wilderness can be scary and overwhelming when you can't see which is the clear path to take. There are trees, bushes, and vines blocking the view. What should you do?

That time on the trial I didn't feel afraid especially if we went the way I felt we should go. After our brief discussion my husband hiked back to the camper to retrieve the map. Turns out the way I wanted to go was the right path to take. We wondered up and down mountains and ended up walking down 700 steps to see a beautiful water fall.

Our path through the wilderness brought us to a glorious sight because we trusted in our guide, not only the map but the one true guide who can lead us out of all our troubles! Allow Him to lead you through the wilderness without fear because He is with you.

Silent

Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10

Around my house silence rarely happens. There is always someone making noise: toys banging, dishes clanging, music playing, children talking...Never a quiet moment around here.

There are times though when children are napping or at night when the entire household is asleep and silence fills the house. It's in these moments I try to be still and silence my mind before God. Do you know how hard it is to make my mind stop thinking? This is often evident when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep because my mind won't be quiet.

Sometimes I know the Lord wants to speak to me, and I can't hear Him because of my mind wandering. I wonder what He has to say, and I really want to listen but it's so hard.

Our world is so full of noise that it's hard to keep silent. Right now even with nap time going on I am sitting here hearing all kinds of noises. Spring must be arriving because the birds are sure chirping up a storm. The kitty is moving so I hear the jingle of his bell. I have the windows open so I can hear the traffic going by and neighbors talking. An occasionally, the dog has to make sure she's heard. The fish tank filter is bubbling water. So even without electronics there is a lot of noise.

So how important is it for us to be silent? I believe it's pretty important because without the silence how can we reconnect with the One who wants to guide us. As we go through our day maybe we can not turn on the radio in our cars or any other noise makers and try to hear the Lord, once you can quiet your mind. I am sure He has some important message to give us.

Gratitude

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 NIV

As a little girl, I was taught to say "Thank you" whenever I was given a gift. In fact, I used to do this thing with paper and a pen. I'd write thank you notes to my grandparents for the Christmas or Birthday present they took the time to buy for me.

As I have deepen my faith, I have learned to have gratitude no matter the circumstances. I thought about this last night while watching "Cast Away". In this movie, Chuck Noland, a FedEx employee who takes care of productivity problems, is summoned away to take care of a problem on Christmas day. The plane he was on crashes into the Pacific Ocean. He is the only survivor and ends up on a deserted island. He manages to survive four years and was able to make a raft to sail away from the island where he is found by a cargo ship. He comes back to discover he was pronounced dead and ends up losing the love of his life, since she married while he was gone.

While I was watching this, I wondered could I show gratitude if something like this happened to me. Could I really praise God for being on an island where I had to drink coconut milk and eat fish? Could I praise Him when I had no family or friends to be with me? Could I have thanked Him while my plane was going down?

I'm not sure if I could, but I have been through tough times and have been able to thank God for them. It isn't always easy, but when I try and look for something to be grateful for during the tough times it makes the tough times not so tough.

No matter what we are facing, there can be something to be grateful for. Chuck could be grateful that he didn't have to drift in the ocean, he was led to dry land. He could be grateful for food to eat and something to drink. He had his thoughts to keep him company, he could be thankful for those memories. While the plane was going down, he was the one holding the raft. He could be grateful that he had the raft.

I will continue to praise God in all circumstances even when it seems impossible.

Empty

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 1 Peter 1:18-19 NIV

I don't know about your house, but at our house it seems that the trash can will be overflowing with garbage and no one cares to be the one to take it out. Everyone kind of walks by it and either completely ignores it or will shove one more piece of trash into it.

Why do we do this? Mostly because it's not trash day and apparently the trash can can't be emptied until trash day. Watch out when we don't have a trash day because of a holiday or because we missed it, we don't even want to talk about what happens then.

Have you ever had anything from your past that you've needed to empty yourself of? Past hurts or disappointments can be hard to get rid of.

There have been things that have happened to me that I really like to be emptied of. In my heart, I know I need to forgive the one who hurt me and let go of what happened. I really believe I have forgiven that person and have moved on. Then something happens again and all the past pains resurface.

How do I get past this? I can't completely ignore it. I don't need to shove anymore thoughts into it. I need to be redeemed by the precious blood of Christ and completely empty myself of this old garbage. When I am finally able to empty myself of these past hurts, I have more room to fill myself with the preciousness of Christ and with Him I can overcome!

Examination

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40 NIV

Alright everyone, please get out a clean sheet of paper and a pencil, we're going to have a pop quiz!

Just kidding.

But do you ever sit and ponder about your life? I find myself doing this when my birthday is approaching or the beginning of a New Year. I think about what I've done since my last birthday and ask myself, "Am I better off?" As I approach the new year, I ask myself, "is there anyway I can improve?"

Examining our lives sometimes happens on a daily basis. We feel bad when we've done something wrong. We might feel joyous over something that went right. Sometimes we examine our relationships and wonder if they are working out, especially when there has been a disagreement. We examine if we are raising our kids right, did we do everything we could to make our children productive adults? I wondered this each time one of our children entered adulthood.

Maybe at times we examined our life and wondered, "what can make it better?"

For me for my life to be better I need to return to the Lord. Usually, when things aren't going so well it's because I haven't been reading the Bible or praying. I've ended up too busy and eliminated the one thing that keeps me grounded. Why do I do this? I know the Lord is the one who guides me, but sometimes distractions come in or my schedule is messed up and I drift away.

Lucky for me the Lord has drifted away or gotten to busy for me. He is always right there waiting for me, so I can pass the exam.

He's right there for you too, so examine your life and come to the Lord. He'll be happy to have you! This is one exam you can ace!

Journey

Show me your ways Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 24:4-5 NIV

Vacations and trips are so much fun. I love being able to plan where we are going and the journey we are going to take to get there. Some of the roads are familiar. Some roads offer detours. Some have delays. Some of the roads are new and exciting.

The days leading up to our journey are filled with excitement of all the things we hope to experience. We have planned what we would like to do, and we've planned how long it will take us to get there. The packing of the clothes and food make the journey seem more real, and sleep the night before barely comes.

We have joy every time we see a new state sign making our destination even closer. When we finally arrive we are overjoyed! Each day of our journey brings us something new to see and learn about. We sometimes plan to much and not get much time to relax, but enjoying the new sights is worth it.

There are times when our journeys haven't been much fun. One time before we even began our journey the brakes went out in the van we were taking and we had to cancel one of the activities we were going to do. The disappointment on everyone's face as we drove by the amusement park knowing we couldn't go in was not the best journey.

There have been times when the journey to get where we were going took longer than expected because we ended up stuck in snail pace traffic. Also, there was the time when I caused the traffic to be delayed by totaling our travel trailer across three lanes of the interstate.

On this life we are all on a journey. A journey to run the race that has been set out before us. Sometimes the journey is fun and exciting.We are loved, we have a great family, we have great friends, our jobs are working out well for us... Other times the journey hasn't been much fun. We get sick, our loved ones pass away, our friends betray us, we lose our jobs...

God has a journey He would like us to follow, we need to allow Him to teach us the right journey we are supposed to be on. Will you allow Him to guide our journey?

Humans

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 NIV

Have you ever just sat and people watched? I'll admit it, I have. I mean what else am I supposed to do while I wait for my family to finish riding a roller coaster. There is quite a crowd waiting around these rides, so I'm not the only one.

Humans are interesting. We come in all different shapes and sizes. We come in an array of colors. We each have our own distinctive look, even if someone looks like us there is still a different look about each of us.

We were also created to be able to think, to reason, and to choose. Face it everyday we get up with choices to make: What will I wear? Do I have time for a shower? What should I eat for breakfast? Do I have time to pray or why even bother it doesn't do any good anyway?

My choice is to have an authentic relationship with my Lord! He has been there for me even before I was placed in my mother's womb. He knew who my parents should be. He knew when I should be born, even if my mom and dad weren't quite ready. He knew which schools I should attend. He placed me in the right church at the right time, so I could hear his message of love and forgiveness. He help me realize that I have to choose to have a relationship with Him. There was nobody else who could make this choice for me.

I chose to follow Him and make Him my Savior in the back of that small church. I can remember the exact location. The sun was shining in the big front windows. The church was empty. As I stood there I claimed His name as my name, and I KNOW He's made a difference in my life.

So humans, each of you have a choice to make as well. My hope is that you have already chosen to follow the ONE who created you. He can and will make a difference in your life just trust Him to work through your life. Think about it this way, How is everything working out for you without choosing Him? Do you have a peace and a comfort knowing that no matter what happens God's got this? Maybe it's time...