So Much to Live Up To

I love the house where you live, O Lord, the place where your glory dwells. Psalm 26:8 NIV

As a wife, mother, daughter, sister...sometimes there is a lot of pressure to live up to some type of standard. A standard where everyone expects so much from you. At times I fail, at times I succeed, and other times I just barely get by.

To my surprise I realized this standard that I try to live up to isn't exactly the standard that God had planned for me. A lot of things change in the world and these changes soon become the norm, what we as women are expected to live up to.

One of these expectations we as women are to live up to is Susie Homemaker. A woman who has the perfect children, who are dressed in the finest clothes, and participates in all the extra circular activities they can. She makes sure her family eats the best food and always has more than enough for those friends that might stop by. Her home is always clean; no crumb, no dust, nothing out of place. She either home school's her children or participates at the school as class mom. She keeps her weight down. She always willing to help out.

Another expectation is Superwoman. We probably know her. She is at the top of career. Her children are also perfect and she balances home-life, career, hobbies, exercise, and volunteering. She soars at everything she does. She comes home from work and prepares her family the five course dinner. She never yells at her kids, and she makes sure to spend the quality time with each one of them. Her house is also clean and she makes sure her children's grades are perfect. She does everything well.

A Biblical example of a woman we feel we need to live up to is the Proverbs 31 woman. I am sure you've heard about her. She rises before the sun is up and prepares breakfast and has her day's tasks figured out. She's a wise business woman. She makes everyone's clothes and linens. She makes sure her husband is well known and respected. She has a great sense of humor and never worries. She is kind and well liked. She surpasses everyone in all she does.

So with all theses expectations just what are we to do? Whose standard should we live up to? Do we try to be the homemaker, superwoman, or the Proverbs 31 woman?

I believe we should live up to what God expects of us. I have tried to live up to other people's standards and you know what it doesn't work. I ended up frustrated, worried, and a failure. It's when I started seeking God that I finally found success. I live to please Him and that for me has made a difference.

A Little Reminder

God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of hope offered to us maybe greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:18-19a NIV

At times I pray and feel really close to God, I feel like I know His plan and I'm pretty sure about the way something is going to turn out. I mean I wouldn't guarantee it, but I get this feeling and usually my feeling is pretty accurate.

These last few weeks though, my knowing God's plan has not gone so well. My husband ended up with a foot infection. I really thought that if he just took my advice and the took the medicine the doctor prescribed things would turn out alright. Instead he ended up hospitalized for a week.

I was mad at God and mad at my husband. I thought we were doing what God required of us and yet God knew he needed to be in the hospital. There he was able to get the best treatment for him. Still I felt tossed by the waves and thrown a bit off course.

The next big wave hit me, I would now need to take our seven campers from church to camp without my husband. This wasn't to big a deal because I love to do it. It was just now I would have to get our camper to the campground. Sure I could have someone else do it, but I felt like God wanted me to ride the wave and drive it myself.

This was a big wave to overcome since eight years ago I totaled our travel trailer on the interstate. I have driven our van and camper short distances but never on the interstate. So with much encouragement from God I knew I was to defeat this wave. I didn't drive it on the interstate, instead I took the back roads. We all got there safe and sound.

There were still more storms for me to conquer throughout the week. In my head, I always assumed that since my husband had two weeks of sick time and four weeks of vacation time if for some reason he ever had to miss work his time would be covered. Boy was I wrong. To our surprise once out for ten days one is required to take a medical leave. I was surprised even more when one of these weeks he was out had already been put in for vacation months ago, so I thought he should have been good for at least three weeks.

As all of these waves and storms continued to hit me, I was worried. I mean I know God has it all in His hands, but at times I still worry.

God spoke to me several times through out my week at camp. The meeting place was an anchor, a song we sang was about an anchor, and one night the message was about God being our anchor. You see even when my boat spins out of control, the one thing I can rely on is God is my anchor! Even if I need to reminded of that.

Really God, Did I Need More?

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

When life deals you lemons, make lemonade.

What if I don't like lemonade?

Life continues to be crazy right now. I believe my stress level was at its peek. I really couldn't handle just one more thing.

Usually my summers are a little less crazy. I usually have more time to relax a little more, catch up my writing, catch up on my reading, pretty much catch up. For the past month though I feel like I'm lagging more behind and I will never catch up.

It's been one thing after another, after another, after another... There seems to be a joy stealer out there just lurking to take away any joy I might have left.

Even my trip to Texas ended with a problem. Someone managed to steal my credit card number. Luckily, my bank was right on it and not much was taken. Still there was the hassle of getting a new card and switching out my information at a few places. I was OK with this, I mean my card was way out of date. My family had the newest ones, and I was stuck in the past.

During my trip though my husband told me his foot is red and hurts. This was the start of something bigger. He made it to the doctor who diagnosed it and gave him some medicine. So in Texas I researched the problem and offered advice to him to help with the healing process.

After returning home, the foot saga continue with him constantly complaining about it. I gave him more advice, he disregarded it. He recalled the doctor and then was put on antibiotic. I looked forward to a weekend away relaxing, instead I spent the weekend serving. After advice from the ask a nurse, we took him to another doctor who diagnosed it with a completely different thing. New antibiotics and I believed he was finally on the mend. After all the swelling went down.

So I was completely shocked on Monday when he went to the doctor and instead of him saying keep up the good work, he sent my husband to the hospital. I'll admit it, I was upset. This foot thing wasn't a big deal!

I felt like I was ready to explode at a moments notice. I mean this was not my plan, and I was pretty sure this wasn't God's either. I guess I heard Him wrong. So for the next couple of days I walked around like unsure of why this was happening. Finally, I was able to cry and let go of some of the built up frustration I had.

During this I told God I was mad at Him. I knew he'd be OK with that since He already knew it and He understands. I know my little stresses aren't as big as some other people's and I know this isn't that big a deal compared to what other people have to go through. The one thing I do know is God grace is there for me even when I'm mad at Him. I also know He still loves me.

So even though I don't like lemons or lemonade, I can make something wonderful out of this because God works things out for good for those who love Him. I do love Him.