Trust Is Sometimes Hard

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3:5 NIV

Why again Lord? I mean you know I trust you, so why I am being put in a situation again to prove that I trust you.

As summer approaches, I begun to worry(just a little). I wondered will I have enough kids to help the bills stay paid? Will there be enough money for vacation? Will everyone do what they promised to do?

It came at no surprise that two of the children I care for will not be here for the summer. One is moving and the other is getting tutored and staying with a cousin. So the concern of money came to my mind. I mean I trust the Lord to provide for our needs, I just don't want to go crazy and spend to much money.

He assured me though. For months I wrote out our budget and figured everything out. At the beginning of the year I kind of stopped because everything was basically the same, so as long as I spent the same as the other months it'd be fine. Now the thought of being down $400 plus for the next few months was a little scary. So finally after I sat down and did the budget for the next four weeks. Everything seem to work out with a small adjustment to the amount spent on groceries, and no date nights. I was comforted. Even though I'm more worried about the four weeks that follow these four weeks, but I trust it will be fine.

Then yesterday worry filled me again as something didn't happen that I planned on happening. The worry thoughts consumed me. I tried not to go there, but my brain kept doing it anyway. Even if my heart was trying to assure me it'd be fine. After sharing with the lovely ladies at Bible study, I was comforted.

Another obstacle popped up over the weekend. The store where I usually buy supplies to make T-shirts didn't have what I needed. Sure I could have ran from store to store searching for what I needed. Instead I came home and searched over the Internet. I found what I needed and I could have had the merchandise in two days or even overnight. I requested that and was shocked when my bill went over $400. I looked and the shipping for two day was $350, "no way" I said. So then I changed it back to regular and now I have to trust that it will get here in time, so I can make 30 t-shirts for Vacation Bible School. I'm probably bugging God as I keep asking Him to get the shipment here in time. But I also trust Him to work it out.

Trust is placing confidence in one. So now I will once again place confidence in the one who created me and has the power to do amazing things. With God all things are possible.