All Alone...

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20b

Have you ever felt alone? Like you were nobody, unimportant, invisible...

During my high school years this happened to me a few times. Lunch time is one of the worst memories I have of high school. Unlike elementary school or middle school you're free to sit wherever you want. The freedom to choose, only problem no one would choose me.

If I got there and found a table no one would sit with me.  My friends would always have a different lunch period. Eventually, I found someone to eat with, but it took time. It hurts not to be chosen, and left alone.

Funny thing is, it still happens to me today at times. My family will go to a potluck supper and we'd get a table first and no one chooses to sit with us. They choose to sit other places. Now at these I'm not alone, I'm with my family but it still hurts all the same that I'm not chosen.

This happened to me during my week at camp. During one of the meals a couple of the girls sat with me at a table, and no one choose to sit with us. I felt bad for the girls, so the next meal I told them to go ahead and sit with their friends. I could tell it hurt them to not be chosen. Then I picked a table to sit at, one with one seat open. I asked about the opened spot, and at first no one was sitting there. Then when I grabbed it to sit in, they said "sorry someones sitting there."
I looked around and the only place available was a table with no one else at it. So I sat all alone, with a tightness in my throat and tears in my eyes as it brought back memories. Luckily, though I wasn't alone for long.

Abandonment was once again felt this past weekend, as I was left alone to complete work that was suppose to be done together. This time the tears wouldn't stay away because I didn't think I was suppose to ever feel alone in my own home. Apologies were made. But once again I felt unimportant, that something else was selected above me.

The truth is I'm never truly alone. People may hurt me, and feel I'm unworthy. But the Lord, he is always with me and he loves me so much that he was willing to die for me. I can always hold onto the truth that I am worthy!