The Unexpected Guilt

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised to be faithful. Hebrews 10:23 NIV

I was in for quite a shock last week. I had scheduled my MRI, and arrived at my appointment. To the sounding voice of the pleasant receptionist, "That'll be $810, please."

"Gulp, what do you mean? We always get billed later."

"You mean you weren't called." At that moment I wasn't sure what to do, I had no idea what the balance on our HSA was. Do I leave, the therapy's working maybe I don't need this. My husband griping in the background didn't help.

I took the chance that maybe the money would be available on the card, it was. So then I went through with the appointment feeling guilty for having to spend that kind of money on me. Especially after the ER visit.

I waited patiently for the results. Knowing that this was a Tuesday evening, and it took 48 hours I figured at the very least it'd be Friday. No news then, so I wait through the weekend planning to call sometime on Monday.

Luckily, though they called Monday morning of course while I'm away. The message though didn't give me the results, only that I need to make an appointment for that. So I do.

"Ok, Lord, I don't understand this but I'll go." I wasn't sure what to think, I mean if everything was fine than wouldn't they just tell me over the phone.

One person told me, "Must be bad news, good news they tell you over the phone."

Another said, "That's the way the doctor's do it now, so they can charge you again."

Not knowing what to expect, I went to my appointment. The news wasn't the best, but could have been worse. I have 6 bulging disc. Even though it wasn't the best news somehow I found relief. Because now I know I needed to keep the MRI appointment and don't feel so guilty.

God is faithful to me always, even if I don't know if I'm on the right path his hand is there to guide me.