In The Darkness

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

When spending the night in a new place, I always make sure I know where the bathroom is. On Friday night I did just that, and set up my air mattress. Then I got ready for bed.

After much tossing and turning and debating if I really needed to go to the bathroom, I decided to get up and go. You know how it is, the more you think about not having to go, the more you need to go. So I found my glasses and made my way to the bathroom.

I entered to a little bit of light, which was very helpful until that little bit of light left. The bathroom didn't have a night light, in fact there was no light at all! Once the little bit of light left I was in total darkness. I couldn't even see my hand.

I managed to flush the toilet and made my way to the sink to wash my hands. Then I needed to find my way to the door. My arms flailed in front of me, hoping to find my way out I cautiously stepped forward all while praying, "Lord, get me out of here."

I touched the other stall's door and continued my way forward. I felt the tile wall, and the little sign that I had read earlier "Be sure to turn off the light when leaving." Surely that meant the light switch should be near by. I felt up and down the wall with no luck.

I managed to find the door and pushed, it would push open right? No, I needed to find the door knob. I felt and felt until as luck would have it, a doorknob! I turned it and pushed, the door wouldn't open! Panic seized me, should I scream out for help and who would hear me? I tried again this time pulling the door toward me and relief when I was on the other side back in the light!

Funny, as I thought more about this experience my life the last few weeks has been like this.

I have felt stuck in a dark bathroom when it began with hearing from someone that I am being blamed for something beyond my control. In fact, the incident that happened, happened when we were on vacation in another state. So how could I be blamed?

I was able to pray at the altar and left it there for God to deal with it. I realized that maybe even though I'm not to blame, this person wants me to do something that isn't God's intentions. I try to treat people with the love God has shown me, sure I'm not perfect at it but I do try.

Then a week later after being blamed another incident happened, this time in my presence so between my husband, daughter, and me, we addressed the issue.

I feel like I'm in the dark with this whole situation. I feel like screaming out for help! I have prayed, "Lord get me out of this."

With each new day, I know He is. I know God loves each person involved. God gives us all a glimpse of his light and He will help me drive out the darkness that is trying to consume me. Because God is greater than all!

A Little Assurance

When I said, "My foot is slipping," your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:18-19

When she's put down to soon after she's dropped off, she will sit there and cry until I come over, pick her up, and give her a hug. Once that's done she's ready to start her day. She just needs a little assurance.

There are times when I feel as if my foot is slipping. the stress of situations can build up inside of me until I can't take it anymore. Sometimes it's my doing, other times it's happening because of what others have done. No matter the feeling of falling and wondering where God is can leave me feeling anxious.

These are the times I need a little assurance. I know I need to kneel at the altar or at the foot of my bed and take it to Him. Sometimes he sends it through a prayer of someone else. A devotional I read can also bring me the message I need to hear. The words of music can also bring me the assurance I need. Then I can face my problem because I know He's got this!

I Can't Hear You

And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who can understand the thunder of his power? Job 26:14 NIV

Poor Job. He lost everything his children, his wealth, and his health. His friends weren't very helpful. In fact, they were blaming him for something he didn't do.

Still Job persevered!

During Job's time in the Bible, it was known if you follow and do what God says you will be blessed. When you turn away from God or do something evil you will be punished. Since Job had lost everything; everyone thought he must have upset God and he was being punished.

Job knew though he followed God. He was a righteous man. He even gave sacrifices for his children just in case they had done something against God. Job pleased God.

Even when Job's friends were telling him, because of course they knew better and thought they were giving him good advice, Job maintained his faith. He was growing frustrated and weary though because he had not heard from God.

I can understand that. When things start to go a little crazy and out of whack one of the first things I do is go to God. Then I wait to hear back from Him. And wait, and wait, and wait.

Sometimes God is quick to answer in a clear way. Sometimes He's not so quick or maybe I'm not being quiet enough to hear what He has to say. At times He speaks in a whisper, and in order to hear someone whisper there needs to be quiet.

Job waited for the whisper even though he didn't understand what was going on. I will wait for the whisper as well, while I figure out what's going on. Will you?

So Annoying

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

The calls began daily about 5 o'clock. First my cell phone and then the home phone. I didn't answer them because as far as I was concerned I wasn't in the wrong.

While on vacation I made our camper payment, the thirteenth one in a twelve month period. I usually enter a half payment in the checkbook every two weeks, this is how we ended up a month ahead. Anyway, I didn't have the statement and I couldn't remember the amount. I figured I was off by a cent or two, and it wouldn't be a big deal. The amount is an odd amount which doesn't divide in two very evenly which is what I write in the checkbook. When I pay I double check the statement, which I didn't have because I did not receive one before we left. So I went ahead and paid it.

The day after the bank received our payment the calls began. After three days of calls, I decided I needed to check the bank. I discovered that through bill pay I could have seen the amount I usually pay. Anyway looking there help me discover I was off by $6.39, still not a big amount and besides I was ahead a payment so I can fix this next payment.

The calls stopped over the weekend but began again on Monday. So I called them back, they were threatening my credit score and then handing it over to debt collectors. Not a big deal to me, but how could they when I'm actually a month ahead. I left a message explaining how ridiculous it is that they are calling me over $6 and even more crazy considering I was ahead.

Turns out when I went over all the payments I made, they "lost" one of them. How could they lose a payment? I work hard to get ahead and they lose it! After they researched it, they "found" it and applied it to our account.

So looking back over this, I realize that God had this planned. Planned so I could discover that the bank wasn't applying our payments right, and for some reason when I receive the statements my balance isn't going down it shows the original loan amount. So now maybe I can figure that out, so this doesn't happen again.

So the annoying phone calls have turned into a blessing.

What Ever Happened to Forgiveness?

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother and sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "Not seven times, but seventy-seven times."  Matthew 18:21-22

Things have certainly changed over the years. There used to be a time when someone said something they didn't mean to say, a simple "I'm sorry" would be enough. Now if someone's has a slip of the tongue his/her whole life could drastically change.

The media will bombard that person even after he/she made an apology. Certain groups will harass this person until he/she has no choice but to leave his/her position or keeping enduring the ridicule. If this person has a business then the business suffers. If it's a police officer then the entire police force is put under attack and no longer trusted to help keep us safe.

Don't get me wrong, I do feel that certain words or phrases should not even be in our vocabulary. Sometimes even words you don't even think about slip out when saying things. I mean I don't think about the curse words and I don't use any phrases with "Oh my God," but on occasion something I don't normally say slips. Does that mean I'm a bad person? Does that mean an apology shouldn't take care of that slip of the tongue?

I try to teach the kids I care for that once the apology is given, we forgive, and forget about it. Then we try not to do it again. They will be forgiven over and over for as long as it takes.

We have a wonderful Father in heaven who forgives us when we mess up. After all, we are only human and we will mess up. Not one of us is perfect. After we seek Him for forgiveness, "I even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." Isaiah 43:25 He remembers our sins no more! If the God of all creation can blot out what past mistakes we made and remembers them no more, then shouldn't we. This means everybody, even those in authority, those who have a national business, and yes, even those who are closest to us.

"Forgive as the Father has forgiven you."

Life Thru the Peephole

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Genesis 50:20 NIV

Have you ever felt like the world was closing in on you? That trouble lurked around every corner just waiting to attack you. You hope that it just couldn't get any worse and yet somehow it does.

This past year was a challenging year for us. At one point my day care was down to three children. Our church was on a list to possibly be closed. Finances were tight. We weren't sure of the outcome of any of these things. If only we could see the Big picture, it'd be nice to know the end of the story.

Unfortunately, life is not a movie or a book where we can fast forward or skip ahead to the end. We can only look thru the peephole and catch a glimpse of what might lie ahead.

Luckily, for a short time one of my day care kids returned because he wasn't quite able to move yet. I had a few interviews and one of them seemed hopeful plus one of the families was expecting another child. It was enough glimpse to know that I was supposed to continue caring for children.

At church we added a service which with God's blessing is going well. More and more people began attending. When we had an event or did something, God provided. Maybe just maybe God wasn't done with our little white church. Another glimpse into the peephole.

Then 2018 began, and within three months I was one child away from having a full day care again! Our church was taken off the to be closed list and with a blessing we are encouraged to keep on following God's plans. We still do not know the end of the story, but the glimpse through the peephole is getting bigger. We can see that God is accomplishing good and helping us touch more lives for Him.

All You Need is Faith and Trust...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

It's kind of funny how each of my guys have faith and trust in their sports teams. Every game they expect them to win and then are upset when they don't. They say, "Well they should have won," "If they didn't put him in they would have won," and "I can't believe they did that!" So much faith in a game where a team has to win or a team loses, every single time. I try to comfort them by telling them that, but it's to no avail.

As a country we put our faith and trust in our leaders, hoping they will make the right decisions. Then when something happens we blame them for not taking care of us. We trust our police force to keep us safe and protect us, then we criticize them when something isn't to our satisfaction. We have faith in the fire and rescue department when our house is on fire or someone in our family is having a medical emergency. Then complain if our house is completely destroyed or our family member doesn't make it.

We trust that other people are going to stop at red lights and stop signs. We have faith that when we are in public everyone is going to be courteous and share or step out of the way when we need to get by. This is sometimes hard in the grocery store when others are concentrating on their list or what's on the shelf in front of them. Have you ever been stuck in an aisle behind one of them?

So if all we need is faith and trust then everything would be great right, but there is some thing I forgot GRACE. We need more than faith and trust we need God's grace. You see his grace is a gift freely given to us because he loves us. None of us our perfect, yes even our sports teams, political leaders, police officers, firefighters, paramedics, doctors...each one of us is human. We make mistakes.

But there is one who never made a mistake-Jesus! He endured being beaten to the point of death and died on a cross to take on the sins of each and everyone of us. He became the ultimate sacrifice and without this sacrifice we would stay separated from God. That isn't a good place to be. Jesus conquered death so that when we die we can conquer death too. There is no cost on our part, which is where the gift of grace comes in-God's Riches at Christ's Expense, all we have to do is open the gift and claim it as yours.

Will you open it and be rich with God?