In The Darkness

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

When spending the night in a new place, I always make sure I know where the bathroom is. On Friday night I did just that, and set up my air mattress. Then I got ready for bed.

After much tossing and turning and debating if I really needed to go to the bathroom, I decided to get up and go. You know how it is, the more you think about not having to go, the more you need to go. So I found my glasses and made my way to the bathroom.

I entered to a little bit of light, which was very helpful until that little bit of light left. The bathroom didn't have a night light, in fact there was no light at all! Once the little bit of light left I was in total darkness. I couldn't even see my hand.

I managed to flush the toilet and made my way to the sink to wash my hands. Then I needed to find my way to the door. My arms flailed in front of me, hoping to find my way out I cautiously stepped forward all while praying, "Lord, get me out of here."

I touched the other stall's door and continued my way forward. I felt the tile wall, and the little sign that I had read earlier "Be sure to turn off the light when leaving." Surely that meant the light switch should be near by. I felt up and down the wall with no luck.

I managed to find the door and pushed, it would push open right? No, I needed to find the door knob. I felt and felt until as luck would have it, a doorknob! I turned it and pushed, the door wouldn't open! Panic seized me, should I scream out for help and who would hear me? I tried again this time pulling the door toward me and relief when I was on the other side back in the light!

Funny, as I thought more about this experience my life the last few weeks has been like this.

I have felt stuck in a dark bathroom when it began with hearing from someone that I am being blamed for something beyond my control. In fact, the incident that happened, happened when we were on vacation in another state. So how could I be blamed?

I was able to pray at the altar and left it there for God to deal with it. I realized that maybe even though I'm not to blame, this person wants me to do something that isn't God's intentions. I try to treat people with the love God has shown me, sure I'm not perfect at it but I do try.

Then a week later after being blamed another incident happened, this time in my presence so between my husband, daughter, and me, we addressed the issue.

I feel like I'm in the dark with this whole situation. I feel like screaming out for help! I have prayed, "Lord get me out of this."

With each new day, I know He is. I know God loves each person involved. God gives us all a glimpse of his light and He will help me drive out the darkness that is trying to consume me. Because God is greater than all!

A Little Assurance

When I said, "My foot is slipping," your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:18-19

When she's put down to soon after she's dropped off, she will sit there and cry until I come over, pick her up, and give her a hug. Once that's done she's ready to start her day. She just needs a little assurance.

There are times when I feel as if my foot is slipping. the stress of situations can build up inside of me until I can't take it anymore. Sometimes it's my doing, other times it's happening because of what others have done. No matter the feeling of falling and wondering where God is can leave me feeling anxious.

These are the times I need a little assurance. I know I need to kneel at the altar or at the foot of my bed and take it to Him. Sometimes he sends it through a prayer of someone else. A devotional I read can also bring me the message I need to hear. The words of music can also bring me the assurance I need. Then I can face my problem because I know He's got this!

I Can't Hear You

And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who can understand the thunder of his power? Job 26:14 NIV

Poor Job. He lost everything his children, his wealth, and his health. His friends weren't very helpful. In fact, they were blaming him for something he didn't do.

Still Job persevered!

During Job's time in the Bible, it was known if you follow and do what God says you will be blessed. When you turn away from God or do something evil you will be punished. Since Job had lost everything; everyone thought he must have upset God and he was being punished.

Job knew though he followed God. He was a righteous man. He even gave sacrifices for his children just in case they had done something against God. Job pleased God.

Even when Job's friends were telling him, because of course they knew better and thought they were giving him good advice, Job maintained his faith. He was growing frustrated and weary though because he had not heard from God.

I can understand that. When things start to go a little crazy and out of whack one of the first things I do is go to God. Then I wait to hear back from Him. And wait, and wait, and wait.

Sometimes God is quick to answer in a clear way. Sometimes He's not so quick or maybe I'm not being quiet enough to hear what He has to say. At times He speaks in a whisper, and in order to hear someone whisper there needs to be quiet.

Job waited for the whisper even though he didn't understand what was going on. I will wait for the whisper as well, while I figure out what's going on. Will you?

So Annoying

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

The calls began daily about 5 o'clock. First my cell phone and then the home phone. I didn't answer them because as far as I was concerned I wasn't in the wrong.

While on vacation I made our camper payment, the thirteenth one in a twelve month period. I usually enter a half payment in the checkbook every two weeks, this is how we ended up a month ahead. Anyway, I didn't have the statement and I couldn't remember the amount. I figured I was off by a cent or two, and it wouldn't be a big deal. The amount is an odd amount which doesn't divide in two very evenly which is what I write in the checkbook. When I pay I double check the statement, which I didn't have because I did not receive one before we left. So I went ahead and paid it.

The day after the bank received our payment the calls began. After three days of calls, I decided I needed to check the bank. I discovered that through bill pay I could have seen the amount I usually pay. Anyway looking there help me discover I was off by $6.39, still not a big amount and besides I was ahead a payment so I can fix this next payment.

The calls stopped over the weekend but began again on Monday. So I called them back, they were threatening my credit score and then handing it over to debt collectors. Not a big deal to me, but how could they when I'm actually a month ahead. I left a message explaining how ridiculous it is that they are calling me over $6 and even more crazy considering I was ahead.

Turns out when I went over all the payments I made, they "lost" one of them. How could they lose a payment? I work hard to get ahead and they lose it! After they researched it, they "found" it and applied it to our account.

So looking back over this, I realize that God had this planned. Planned so I could discover that the bank wasn't applying our payments right, and for some reason when I receive the statements my balance isn't going down it shows the original loan amount. So now maybe I can figure that out, so this doesn't happen again.

So the annoying phone calls have turned into a blessing.